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Take a moment and think about what single action step you could take that would have the greatest impact on your current financial situation. Many of my clients and workshop participants have begrudgingly discovered that the single greatest action for them was to get honest.

Honesty starts from within. It begins with ourselves first and radiates outwardly towards our partners and affects our life situations and circumstances. If you’re currently not being honest with yourself chances are also pretty good that you won’t be honest with yourself and your partner when your financial situation improves either.

One client confided, "If given a choice between being honest and having to bungee jump over a 100 foot cliff, I would probably choose to bungee jump. I’d prefer to expose myself to any number of life-threatening risks, rather than feel the pain and discomfort of being financially honest with my partner." Another workshop participant echoed a similar sentiment.

When I questioned him why he was afraid to be honest he replied, "Because if I was honest that would mean that I would have to change my behaviors. I would have to let my wife know when I had extra money coming in and how I spent it. I don’t want to change my money behaviors. I’m scared to death of having to change." This was an honest and revealing statement.

Honesty is defined as: 1) Adherence to the facts. 2) Free from fraud or deception. 3) Genuine, real, marked by integrity. 4) Implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust. Are you adhering to the facts in your life? Are you deceiving yourself or your partner? Are you worthy of your own trust? Are you worthy of your partner’s trust?

Quality financial communication starts with getting financially honest. Think of honesty as being given the opportunity to step out of your old way of doing things and being called to "step up" in your life. When we’re not willing to be honest, our energy gets drained from our physical bodies, our relationships AND our checkbook.

If you feel intimidated and scared about being honest here’s my suggestion: take a baby step. I’ve noticed that we often rule out the decision to be honest because we’re afraid that we have to leap all the way from where we are right now, imperfect and flawed… clear to the land of glistening, golden perfection. We’re afraid of the work and personal sacrifice involved in getting there.

It’s enough to give anyone the hibee jeebees and make them jump ship and run. Because we’re afraid of the consequences of being honest, we choose to do nothing at all. Instead of choosing to do nothing, I encourage you to come up with a small financial baby-step towards being honest.

One of my participants decided that his financial baby-step would be to pray for the willingness to be honest. He even took this one step further and decided to gather his wife and kids around in the evening so that they could pray together. During the family prayers he would pray out loud for the willingness to be financially honest with his wife and kids. He made a commitment to pray every night with his family. Interestingly enough amazing things began to happen.

Unexpected money came in. And his money behaviors changed with seemingly little effort on his part. Instead of spending unexpected income on his own he began to talk to his wife. They began to make money decisions together. His honesty affected his children as well. His kids became more relaxed and calm. His entire family was affected and transformed by his decision to have a willingness to be honest

Another client decided that she and her husband would be honest about how much money they spent on a daily bases. Instead of buying something and telling each other about it several days they both agreed to briefly discuss their purchases at the end of the day before going to bed. They both felt closer as a result, and for the first time in months they didn’t have any bank overdraft fees.

Be courageous. Challenge yourself to be honest with yourself. You can choose to share your insights with a trusted friend or your partner later, if and when you feel ready. Remember, input equals output. The more honest you are with yourself (and your partner) – the more rapid your financial success, connection and growth as a couple.