Get More Done By BEING More

Not too long ago I was going through my wooden chest that was crammed with cards, letters, books and memorabilia from my childhood. I picked up a stack of letters and slips of paper that were bound by ribbon. I gently untied the ribbon and started flipping through the pile.
The first envelope contained a letter from my best friend in 4th grade. The next, a note from a boyfriend in 6th grade, read, "Dear Leslie, will you go with me? Check YES (written in very big, bold print, with a big box next to it) or no (written in tiny, scribbled handwriting with a very tiny box next to it)."
I chuckled aloud as I read his note. Then my eyes caught sight of a very old to-do list that I had typed out on my dad’s manual typewriter. I must have written it when I was in 3rd or 4th grade!
The list read:
Things to do Today
Wash my face
Feed Pearly (my pet rabbit)
Clean my room
Iron handkerchiefs (We used to get paid 10 cents for each handkerchief that we ironed!)
Be popular (how funny is that!?)
Buy Barbie Doll clothes
I laughed initially as I read the items on the list. Then my glee shifted to amazement that I had been writing to-do lists since 4th grade! I guess I always believed that if I did just the right thing I would achieve my desired result. Fast-forward that belief to when I first started my private coaching practice.
When I first started my business, I believed if I did just the right kind of things, I would generate X amount of income. I believed that if I took the right financial action steps, I would end up with X amount of savings. And if I got all the things done on my to-do list, I would truly be happy. I used to think that creating financial or personal success was all about taking the right kind of action.
Rushing Through Life in the Fast Lane
I realize now that I used to rush blindly through my days from a place of sheer force and will power, with the single-minded goal of paying homage to the great to-do list Gods in the sky! After writing out my to-do list each morning, I became engaged in a wrestling match against time and immersed myself in a frantic, sweaty race to the finish line. My days had the sole focus of "doing more."
All that mattered was that I got everything done – because if I got everything done, then I’d be successful. I know I’m not alone— many people struggle with this.
We’re such a doing-oriented society, rushing from one activity to the next in a wide-eyed panic, always making the future more important than the current task at hand.
But this kind of frantic to-do list mentality has a fatal flaw in it. Sure, our lists serve the purpose of creating structure for our days. But just because we complete everything on our to-do lists doesn’t mean that we’re guaranteed to achieve our desired goal.
The true secret to achieving our desired goals is to notice who we’re being each moment throughout the day. Are we anxious, frantic and driven? If so, this will impact the end result. Our clients, colleagues or customers (and especially family) will instantly know if we’re not present with them.
While we may be showing up physically, the divinity within us is not present to connect with the divinity in others. There isn’t the quality of conversation that leaves someone feeling like they’ve received something of value. Instead we are coming from an egocentric state of mind.
Coaches especially are highly susceptible to making this error when working with clients. Many coaches mistakenly believe that coaching is all about getting a client to take a particular action to accomplish a particular end result.
I’ve noticed that when I’m able to support my clients in looking at who they are being in the moment, they are able to access to what I call "true personal power."
Redirect Your Focus from the Outside to the Inside
Many times we think everything is "out there happening to us." We get frustrated with the way our schedules act upon us and we feel like we have no control over the events that happen in our lives. Instead of feeling frustrated, we can shift our attitude by asking ourselves, "Who am I being right now?"
When we do this, we’ll notice whether or not we’re being judgmental, feeling stressed or focusing on achieving a specific end result while neglecting the process.
All of this indicates that we are not in a place of peace—rather, we are in an egocentric state of mind. And if we’re willing to be acutely aware, then we can make a choice to become present with whatever we are doing, and proceed with peace and openness.
This simple act of becoming aware and choosing who we are being in any given moment can create powerful results.
Sure, you can still create a to-do list. But instead of going through the day with the goal to check off everything on your list, set a goal be to be aware of who you are being while you are doing. You’ll become a lot more present, and experience higher quality end results.
Bite-Sized Action Steps You Can Take Now
Set the intention in the morning to be aware of how you feel during the day and to notice when your body feels tense and anxious. Also set the intention to notice the thoughts that accompany your tension.
Constantly ask yourself, "Who am I being right now in this moment?" "Who am I being in this particular situation?" "How am I reacting to what I hear, see, feel, experience?"
When you notice in the moment that who you are being is reactive, judgmental, rushed, anxious or frantic, ask yourself, who would I like to be. And set the intention to shift this energy for yourself – you can do this by setting the intention to be joyful, accepting, calm or however you would like to be.
Your actions will always follow your true intentions. You don’t have to know what to do next. Simply set a new intention and notice how your actions and behavior shifts to support your new intention.